Monday, September 9, 2013
"My Summer Vacation" by J. Thorn. In pictures. With captions. Hold the croutons.
1. Eating chocolate at Chocolate World is like shitting in a port-a-potty at a marble toilet convention.
2. The more colored lights hanging above the bar, the more expensive the hotel.
3. The storm clouds over the Capitol Building are literal, figurative, metaphorical, and allegorical.
4. If your Frisbee lands in that yard, forget about it.
5. Backyard fireworks displays are only cool if you can hear the screams of the drunkard getting his hand blown off by an M-80.
6. If you put a bronze plaque in front of a building made out of old bricks, people will take pictures of it. That, and Philadelphia has its own smell.
7. Christ died for your sins so you could sculpt him in sand, dying for your sins.
8. An island of wild horses couldn’t drag me away but the Assateague Island Park Ranger and a set of handcuffs could.
9. Bacon. On donuts. Enough said.
10. None of the video games from 1983 are in there anymore. None. WTF, Funcade Casino?
11. You keep Skee-Ball but not Missile Command? The rest of Ocean City, Maryland is still living in 1983. What gives you the right to change, Funcade?
12. Moonshine with a fancy label is still moonshine.
13. If you put a bronze plaque in the ground where three rivers meet, people will take pictures of it. That, and Pittsburgh smells slightly less disgusting than Philadelphia.
14. Fries and cole slaw on your sandwich always tastes better after 2 a.m.
What did you do on your summer vacation?